No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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