Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
