wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
