This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
