Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize