thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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