somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
