Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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