All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
