Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So here I am, sexting at work.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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