hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize