During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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