RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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