I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
