But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
