Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize