So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Are we still banned from the library?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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