Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
