You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
