Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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