i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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