I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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