walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
