His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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