the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize