his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
