Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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