Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
