stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
