I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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