is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
