You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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