3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he fucked my hip out of place.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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