Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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