so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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