All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
