You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize