Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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