dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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