can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
