Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
