hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
