Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
