let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My vagina is officially offended.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
