Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
high people should be assigned attendants
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
is it fun? or sober?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
