Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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