Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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