i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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