i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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