And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
