the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
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