You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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