Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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