He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
