Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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