how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize