I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
